Side tracked

I have so many side tracked posts, I begin with the title, thinking about whether or not to write about how I feel about something in particular, eventually it turns into something I feel like complaining about.

I suck at writing but at the same time I enjoy it so I don't really understand how you could enjoy something you suck at but okay!

I was meant to have work tonight at 8pm but I fell asleep. I've been feeling sore and exhausted since Tuesday night after oz tag.
On Wednesday when I had work from 6am - 4pm, my right leg was crippled, and I had a stuffy nose and could feel a cold kicking in. Really thankful that the cold symptoms are gone for now but my right leg remains weak. I then had an exam on thursday morning so I had what... 3 or 4 hours of sleep again which brings me to where I am now... I missed out on work because my body shut down and went into hibernation mode at 6pm. Had to apologize and some how Ill make it up to them, probably work more hours tomorrrow (hopfully from any time till 12. I honestly don't mind 12am - 12pm at this point since I just want to take a break tomorrow before I have to go to UTS to sort out my uni stuff.

Oh yeah, happy valentines day!


See what I mean about side tracked?

Chasing time

I think that it's fair to say that many people, if presented with the opportunity, would be willing to go back in time to either fix, prevent or mend the actions and choices they've made which lead them to where they stand today.

For me personally, I think the only reason I'd want to go back in time is to sleep more. Sleep is like a pet, which I take for granted. I can always choose to play with it if I ever felt like it. I've gotten used to not toying with it so it feels great to play with it every once in a while but on days which I'm really busy and have had no time to relax, I choose my computer over sleep which has always ended badly. 

I always felt sleeping was so insignificant and always went by the phrase "you can sleep when you're dead", not entirely but to some extent anyway. I've gotten so used to strange sleeping hours, either too little or too much, it affects my life so much more than I account it for. 

Some people say I work too much but I think it's better to say that I sleep too little. I'm not sure if it's due to my lack of sleep that whenever I do sleep and set an alarm, I never wake up until it's been a good few hours past. I think I've only experienced that "good night's sleep" that we all get told to some how obtain, only once in my life.

Sleep is just something I need to set as a priority because without it, life just isn't as great as it could potentially be.

I am no longer in control of my own feelings. Sometimes I feel like I care way too much about people and it pains me.

I don't know if it's because I hold onto the past so dearly. Maybe I can't move on from those old sweet memories and that, I just miss the feeling of being close to someone.

Nevertheless, that feeling is just eating me up inside and I don't know which action to take which is why it will eat me away until I no longer feel for you