Oh and sing LOL.

Had a talk with A and B today on the way from school to Cheso and yeah there's 'head voice' 'body voice' and some other one... air voice? but yeah kinda interesting.

I wish I could dance..

I hope all goes well.

I don't want to do this any more.

FINALLY UNPACKING YOU LOL...

Yes my birthday gift from L and L, 2011.

Last day of SEMPH Week

MP3 Experiment tomorrow, looking forward to it! :D Hope it turns out well.... I don't know what to write but who cares, probably gonna give it to some random anyway.
My so called sunnies are crap.. I have no stuff toy that I want to give away (just in case ya know) and iderno what to write.

Yay finally done

Officially done with my orthodontic treatment.. other than getting my retainers and stuff but yeah braces are off!

Finally

They day I've been waiting for since.... February 2011. After tomorrow, I do not want to think about my teeth or smile again LOL. SEMPH Week turned out fun and not lame, adding on with the rehearsals and me leaving school for my appointments, I'd like to say I had a pretty packed week. 

I need sunnies and a new stuffed toy, I'd rather keep all my old treasured ones :D.

Contemplator

One of the many made-up words to describe me..

Today wasn't so bad actually other than the fact that I fell asleep in every single lesson. That was terrible, I clearly need a lot more sleep. Got to promise myself to sleep before 12 each night :/
Other than that Lunch was great, we the cupcakes were so nice.. I was gonna get jelly but they ran out by the time I came for seconds oh well. We had music playing during lunch... i had the urge to join in but clearly I can't dance so I only joined towards the end for the Macarena, Nut bush and 5678.

Went to library after school and slept the whole time.. feeling terrible.. :( sorry.

Wednesday

Ughh another crap day coming up.

What an honour

Long day

Such a long tiring day.. had quite a few plans
-School, either rehearse at lunch-3:15/go home at 11:10/go home at lunch/ stay in the library till lunch/ go prefect room, etc etc..
Nothing went to plan actually, however i finished at 11:10 and stuck with the guys and played bball. to my surprise I got a few shots in LOL.. any ways it was fun; lunch bell rang and I had a few things to do, went around to hand in my note, purchase a badge, participate in the demonstration for the Ninja Games.

After lunch was what annoyed me; the people who were part of the group were meant to go to the park near her place to practise... but instead a few left school, were doing their own separate acts or went to the library. So after dawdling around for a bit deciding where to go what to do, how to get everyone together, we went to S.k's place to practise. They had another group there but yeah it was all cool, everybody was quite rusty but we got back into it in no time. A had left us to call B to join us but took them a while too; 40 mins to an hour or something? Any ways L then came later and we tried to teach her the dance which she got soon enough. Quick learner she is, took me ages. Soon we had to leave and yeah everyone gathered in the hall... (most of the people who handed in their forms) and after given an intro on what's happening and some stage terms we got into it. K, C, L, N, J all joined and T taught them and yeah i had to go. HOPEFULLY everyone's got the gist of it :D IMO not hard, the rest of it is going to be much more difficult :(

Oh yeah recently.. well not really but yeah I have a few friends from school who are okay but I don't particularly like their attitudes toward girls. Some people are neutral and like able to joke once in a while about either checking them out or just you know casual guy talk. Then there's the type who actually respect them and TRY not to check them out LOL (me) but yeah generally try not to see them as sexual objects and just treat them as individuals whom we are meant to be naturally attracted to.
 THEN there's... your type. The guys who constantly just care about girls, having the most female friends, being able to know so many girls, hang out with them and making stupid remarks like:

Person A: "Next time invite some of your friends ;)"
Person B: "Yeah call the boys!"
Person A: "Nah I meant the chicks man ;)"

I particularly dislike people like that. He's a good friend sometimes and I shouldn't be bitching about him but hey, I don't dislike you, just that side of you which makes it valid that I'm bitching about every single guy that is like you. All you care about to knowing a girl and being able to get close to them and talk to them with the hope with either one or both of the choices:
a) Best friends so that you can know their secrets and talk dirty
b) Partners so you can date them
c) Friends with benefits - ..... really?
Another thing that I notice. Now that I don't hang out with that group and stick to my more smaller yet closer group, you and him happen to come every now and then. It's not like me and any of my female friends there are together but I still care about the people they hang with, especially if I can help it. I notice how if I'm talking to one of them, you happen to want to butt in and just introduce yourself randomly so that they notice you. Mate fuark off LOL even at the canteen the other time when I was buying food with a friend. Why do you care enough to walk up to me just to stand there and act like you're funny and a 'troll'? You never do that other times OH WAIT was it because I had a friend that I happened to hear you talk about being attractive? Hmm yeah I know you better than you think and if only you weren't like that, I don't think I'd have much against you.
You on the other hand.... you're so big and all but I find you to be immature, hence why you're even always sticking around him, you're both kinda just as bad.

Sigh. time to prepare for physics tutorzzzz

Girls

Strange things they are; had a talk with a friend yesterday on the train ride home, never knew that the way they dressed was always intentional. I knew that the ones that stand out did but yeah even the people I know at school do it intentionally. Physics excursion, your... was it a jumper? well yeah that was hanging pretty low mate and FYI I don't think most guys would find it attractive. I understand if it was just an unfortunate event or you didn't notice but based on the chat I had I guess all girls check the mirror before leaving right?

Any way personally I prefer girls who don't try to be so revealing, there's a clear difference between fashion sense and well just being showy and that's the part i dislike.. speaking of which on the same day some girl walked onto the train with a low tight shirt and her big bouncy boobs bulging through the shirt wanting to pop out. Not judging or anything but such thoughts come to mind naturally. Once she got off the seat behind me she walked up the stairs to get of at Lakemba and being in the bottom carriage, i noticed she was wearing either a mini skirt or a skirt that was so high that you could see the curves of her buttocks. Anyway i turned to look at the guy that was going to enter the train and watched him look in the typical direction most guys would and then take a second glance by turning around and watching her legs as she walked across the platform. Well maybe some guys like it but I don't.

This leads me to another topic... girls and their fashion sense
Personally all I have in my drawers are shirts, shorts underwear obviously and jeans.. LOL nothing else really. Pick a shirt grab a pair of jeans and I'm done. Girls on the other hand... woah, don't get me wrong, I like how girls have a variety, kinda interesting to observe the way they dress... you can pretty much mix everything you have and come out looking decent. It's probably the same with guys, maybe it's just because I don't have much hahah.

I will not be replying to any comments. As mentioned in one of the previous posts, if you happened to stumble across this, good for you but I still prefer to remain anonymous by not mentioning names other than initials.

I'm so confused...

Physics Observatory Excursion day

It was pretty crap at school, got a letter sent home.. travelling with someone I rarely travel with turned out ok, I started not to care LOL. Anyway what started off to be a crappy day turned out into a good day. I enjoyed spending time with the grade in the city at night OUT of school. There were ups and downs but I was able to engage in a conversation with you and that was great, then talked to a few others all good. Only some moments when I wanted to stop thinking about everything else... It'll take some time but I'll eventually feel better maybe soon, most probably later. Overall good night, enjoyed spending time with friends, didn't like leaving you behind but I hope you got home safely bro and yeah ate a lot of junk and oily food haha.

Siff I care about this subject, go ahead and send me a letter.

Goodnight James.

Unlike you I'm not going to talk to anybody about it. I don't care if this makes me into a cold person because I'm starting to dislike the people I once had faith in making me happy so yeah whatevs. Even if I was asked, I wouldn't know what to say, everything, the truth or a blunt lie? All I look forward to is drowning my thoughts in the shower.

Why do I even still come online on Skype, Msn, Twitter, Facebook and shit; I might as well just turn on the computer when the guys tell me to join in to play, other than that I have nobody to talk to and no reason to be on..

How did I used to get through the stressful times back then? :|

Don't feel like going tomorrow anymore

Feel so lonely... I hate this feeling

Yay had a good ol' chat with mdn on the way home; kinda made up for my shitty lunch time

The things I try to hide end up showing on my face at school; sigh.

What was I thinking, should've gone home. friends suck... lol

I kinda like my bio class, everybody there is friendly and they're all great people with an exception. I'm glad they were happy with their marks and for some reason I was happy for them, mine on the other hand... yeah lol as I said I could've done better

Feels like the 4th day now?

I don't have anything to put onto that paper thingy so... just going to hand it in blank?

Whilst everybody is scaling higher, I'm the one remaining down below, perhaps even getting worse

Such screwed up weather in Australia. It's cold then the next day it's suddenly hot.. :|

omg kill me now.. :(

Maybe I should had stopped caring for those who don't care back

Highschool Crushes

If I remember correctly... 3-4? LOL maybe I remembered incorrectly but seriously how shallow was I back then, only liking people for looks. I guess that's kinda the same for most people when we're young but yeah being how I am now, I wouldn't like that happening again.
Year 7... oh yeah the one heaps of guys liked LOL @
Year 8.. woah .. that might be where the other 3 people were, one because she actually talked back to me :| stupid reason but yeah.
another from 8-10? wow anyway not sure how that held on so long.. we still talk :) and I'm glad we're as close as we are, I'll add more to this later cause i'm in a rush..
the other, out of my school but we dated for almost 2 years

Confession

I don't really remember who I used to be two years ago. I know who my close friends were but so much time has changed and I'm not in any of their classes at all so I guess not so close as I wanted to be... Sigh I try to accompany my 'friends' but like when I see they've already got company that kinda just hmm pushes me away in a way.. like give them some privacy, no need for a chimer like me. This might explain why the other day you mentioned on some socialising site about someone saying hi first for a change... well even if it wasn't directed at me but yeah I do enjoy your company whether or not you know it, I'm just distant from everyone and everything.

As for you, we still game every now and then so it's all cool :D, I think we can still pretty much relate and talk about heaps of things but yeah don't really get the chance to talk in person unless we have a free period and walk home together ahah. Also I love your blog posts Mr Wise.

Friday.. I'm hoping it'll be good but I'll probably end up not going. I think I'm becoming more like him, I just don't cut LOL might I add, I will not mention any names but depending on how well you know me and whether or not you know the people I do, I'm sure you'd know exactly who I'm thinking of as posts go by. Yeah pretty shit day indeed, twitter isn't going to work for me, I have too much to say and rather not let everyone know what I think; can't let people getting to know me too well can I haha... not that anyone would want to.
Rambling on about useless stuff to myself but I'm kinda enjoying this quite a bit. Not sure if I'm going to turn this into a diary and just post entries whenever I can but ehh I guess it'll be assorted into many different types.

So many things I could rant about but I should probably start the work I promised myself to start 4 days ago... No matter how many times I've told myself I'd do better, sometimes I'd even feel I've improved drastically but it never shows in my results.. am I just giving myself false hopes?

I actually hope nobody sees this.

I never used to trust people and befriend people so easily. The fact is I don't make friends easily but after being on a few outings or having 1 of the many subjects together some how I just become your friend.. any way not important; I don't remember who my friends are, I ended up disliking most of them any way. There's always going to be something I either like and or dislike about each person I know, for one thing for those guys who have the interest of only getting to know girls just to get into their pants and shit, stay the fuck away from my friends lol not that I think you'd get the chance anyway. Your efforts are pathetic and you will never change despite how you say you have. I'd hate the idea of the friends I have now even becoming remotely close to any of you but what can I do, it's not like I can control everybody heck I can't even control myself lol...

This is so bullshit and I hate everything. Why must things be so damn difficult, I always manage to screw things up some how. First there's people then there's exams. I actually felt I did better than usual but no turns out It's pretty much the same, if not worse.

People people people. What can I say? I think I'd rather not know so many people because I'd always think I'd have a friend that would like stick by me but obviously not, why do I even bother being friendly to everyone Might as well just stop the act and give in. Not only this, I happen to mess up everything too even something as huge as this. I've known you for two years and I didn't think we'd understand each other less and less but turns out we have. I've changed way too much that I don't even understand who the hell I am which is more of a better reason for you to leave. I wouldn't like me, why did you :( you'll just be disappointed in the end as always with me.

First post

Yeah I'm not going to bother in making this blog look fancy or anything nor do I expect anyone to even know of its existence. Simply put: I'm not an interesting person and my life is just as boring if not even more than the person behind you in a train carriage but sometimes I need to get things out and feel the need to share my insights in particular topics.