How could I have been so naive, I'm a walking contradiction, instead of barricading myself and not facing the truth (hence reality), I chose to just not think about it. I thought about it a lot today, during the day when we were eating, even while I was working.
I need to make a choice, maybe I can do both but if not, which will it be?
Maybe I'll attend the dinner for a bit and then attend the other to drink it all out. I'll never know which is the best way to deal with reality unless I try. Instead of doing what everyone else tells me to do, I'm hurting myself but I'm doing this so I know which is the better way, my way or theirs.
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