Produce

Well I can't cut watermelons for s*** so my co-worker and I ended up eating all of the wonky watermelons which I stuffed up - delicious!
I guess I still need more practice using a machete.

What is maturity?

I always thought and felt I was more mature than many of the people my age but having messed up so bad has made me realize that it was all an illusion.

I've voiced how I've been feeling recently, just how I wish I could be better and all that. It hit me hard when I had to tell my mum about the Centrelink thing. I feel everything about me has been quite fake. I mean I try, I really do.

I had a lot on my mind but this is just one of those posts where you don't feel like editing or finishing.

I will be better.

Phase

I never thought I could be influenced so much by one person. I am living q child's dream and maybe if I had known sooner, I would have taken that path but I'm almost certain my family would not have supported my decision.

Now I think about it all the time, wishing I was more talented and able to entertain as I have learned to love the feeling I get after watching such great movies. Unfortunately it is just an impulse dream I have and I just face the truth that I was not destined to become an actor or singer in this life.

Such influence from certain actors have made me question my life and how I wish I was capable of more and if I were and became successful, I would be the happiest person alive, being able to help out my family and everyone I care about.

However as mentioned this may not be the life for me and I can't make millions as much as I'd love to.

This hunger for a life I can never have is consuming me from the inside and I am quite sad about it.

This is probably why you are considered one of the most influential people in the world, you have given me something to obsess over and I am not easily obsessed.

I have never given so much thought about my future or career ever and the most frustrating thing is that it is merely a dream. Thinking about the possibilities in life, whether or not to pursue a wild dream is the most difficult decision I have right now.

Isn't it pathetic that I thought so much about it? I feel it is. Maybe if I pursued in a career of acting when I was younger, sure I'd have a chance but as the person I am now, I have nothing and don't even have the fundamental requirements so please, wash away these dreams and just admire these people from afar. So now I tell myself "Aspire to be and do more but do not follow in their foot steps. Note the paths they take and walk your own. Inspire so maybe others may follow in yours."

I don't know why I tried to hard to hide my relationship status from my mum back when I was dating. There was nothing to hide and I feel that it's somewhat wrong to hide things from your parents even if they will give you shit for it because eventually they will come to their senses and accept your decisions.. until they can say "I told you so" that is. Well anyway, I won't be doing that anymore.

:|

You haunt me in my dreams, fuck off.

I want to travel somewhere far away and then come home a changed man just like da movies

Electric Run

So I ended up going with Ho and Lam, the event was... okay I guess. The rain wasn't too bad, the worst part would probably be waiting 30+ minutes in a crowd, under the rain. By the time we actually got to start walking/running, we were already soaked. It would've been a lot better if we had a larger group though but considering it was only the three of us, it was great. It was a bummer not seeing many people run. The music wasn't great in my opinion, didn't know what to expect but it was quite disappointing.

There's not much to say about it, if there is another electric run next year, hopefully they plan it a lot better since so many people were disappointed haha.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=246503775505529&set=a.220085384814035.1073741829.207548072734433&type=1&theater

And here's a short video just so you guys can kinda get the feel of how it was; warning it's quite loud.